The truth

Isolation is a cold word, but it is definitive. It possesses an undisputed meaning. I decided to label my blog as this because the feeling of isolation encompasses my life in every aspect. Reading this does sound terrible, indeed, but I have came to accept this. This is my life. Sometimes I wish it was not, but there is nothing I can do. The only viable choice is to live the life I know. 

I doubt many, if any one, will actually read this, or if it will ever be made public. If I was a happy, and a normal person, I would ask how do you live your life this way? Answering it, reveals a response that is challenging to stomach. People will come to terms with their lives regardless of their environmental, or emotions faced. It probably isn't right to bring up such a controversial topic, but many people have been subjected to much worse treatment and gone on to live their lives. The holocaust is a prime example of my logic. My life is, in no way, comparable to what those people faced, but they, like me, have accepted their circumstances. They have bowed to the notion that their lives will be undeniably unpleasant. Just like I have accepted the fact that I am depressed, and have been for a very long time. After a while, like any other illness, it begins to define you and the person you truly are. It forms an integral part of your personality. It is something you sleep with every night and wake to every morning. 

Depression is a very serious illness. It is one that will strip the life from you, along with all your desires, hopes and dreams; believe me, I know this. I also know there is much stigma towards it. It makes me nervous to actually be 'open' with my depression. I once told my brother that I was greatly depressed. He simply, and quite calmly, replied "You have nothing to be depressed about". After him ratting off a number of possessions that I own, the tone of his voice silently conveyed the expectation that I should be feeling better. My mood remained unchanged. It started a train of thought, though. Depression does not necessarily manifest symptoms that are obviously visible. I think this might be a reason why so many people downplay the illness. With no visible symptoms, there is nothing to be able to compare the pain to. With a person who has suffered third degree burns to 30% of their body, anyone can look at them and blatantly see they are in distress. If someone looks at a person who is depressed, they don't necessarily see the pain behind it. I guess were so similar on the outside. Its what makes it so easy to identify suffering while appreciating the physical aspect of disease. The mind is completely different. There are no physical characteristics. There is no way to completely judge the suffering it goes through.